








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 622 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




119 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2605 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4043 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3659 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1831 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,695,197 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 333 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | handychillen | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | xaxaxaxaxaxaxax | 49% | 138 |
| #3 | LilExoticz | 49% | 100 |
| #4 | Homiesexual | 41% | 353 |
| #5 | Nanami | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | xaxaxaxaxaxaxax | 49% | 138 |
| #3 | LilExoticz | 49% | 100 |
| #4 | Homiesexual | 41% | 353 |
| #5 | Nanami | 41% | 46 |
| #6 | daniel | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xaxaxaxaxaxaxax | 30 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Homiesexual | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | LilExoticz | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | handychillen | 10 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | daniel | 6 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Homiesexual | 836 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | LilExoticz | 186 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | xaxaxaxaxaxaxax | 159 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nanami | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | handychillen | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | handychillen | +6.34 | 86 | 28 |
| #2 | xaxaxaxaxaxaxax | +5.73 | 85 | 33 |
| #3 | LilExoticz | +2.21 | 81 | 49 |
| #4 | Nanami | +1.06 | 43 | 49 |
| #5 | ZenturionEy | -0.31 | 58 | 43 |





