








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1178 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1922 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1130 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 440 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $424,060 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪♕ | 55% | 64 |
| #2 | [HGC]SEAGALZOL1-TTVツ | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | Scrat | 46% | 93 |
| #4 | Happy hippo-DROP.SKIN | 42% | 60 |
| #5 | who's your daddy? | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scrat | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ✪♕ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Happy hippo-DROP.SKIN | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | who's your daddy? | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪♕ | +3.39 | 74 | 51 |
| #2 | Happy hippo-DROP.SKIN | +0.97 | 46 | 67 |
| #3 | Scrat | +0.61 | 49 | 51 |
| #4 | [HGC]SEAGALZOL1-TTVツ | +0.26 | 40 | 77 |
| #5 | who's your daddy? | +0.24 | 48 | 29 |





