








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 535 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4133 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5156 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3121 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3923 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,202,342 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | culcha_candela | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | SD229 | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | devanbooker | 47% | 135 |
| #4 | ant.Cherries | 44% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | culcha_candela | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | SD229 | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | devanbooker | 47% | 135 |
| #4 | ant.Cherries | 44% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devanbooker | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | SD229 | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | culcha_candela | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ant.Cherries | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devanbooker | 773 | 0.28 | 21 min |
| #2 | SD229 | 159 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | ant.Cherries | 132 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | culcha_candela | 59 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ant.Cherries | +1.49 | 65 | 57 |
| #2 | culcha_candela | +1.17 | 72 | 41 |
| #3 | YvngPrinse | -0.06 | 71 | 53 |
| #4 | devanbooker | -0.26 | 33 | 82 |
| #5 | SD229 | -1.05 | 67 | 59 |





