










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 364 | 17% |
| Smokes | 192 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 1023 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 598 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $658,552 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trizzy | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Røyal | 51% | 115 |
| #3 | Threezus Christ | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | Snuplis | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | KlefBombs | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Røyal | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | N8 | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Snuplis | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Threezus Christ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | KlefBombs | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Røyal | 191 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Snuplis | 156 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | N8 | 52 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | KlefBombs | 52 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Threezus Christ | 50 | 0.05 | 1 min |





