








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1047 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 435 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 227 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2054 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4171 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3296 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3817 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,767,811 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 承認欲求モンスター | 53% | 94 |
| #5 | LovelyKcfefe | 53% | 159 |
| #6 | Tera101245 | 52% | 66 |
| #7 | MEOWMEOW | 50% | 203 |
| #8 | Weiiii | 42% | 76 |





