








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1059 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1819 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1638 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1857 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1469 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $177,596 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khalista3 | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Lennyy | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | BigDaddy | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Bou | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | 𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃 | 53% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃 | 16 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Your WET Dream | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Moody | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | crystalsnekk | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | Bou | 2 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moody | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | 𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃 | 76 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Your WET Dream | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | BigDaddy | 39 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mr J | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |





