








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 461 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3403 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4867 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7835 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 3364 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,057,252 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khalista3 | 55% | 71 |
| #2 | Your WET Dream | 54% | 149 |
| #3 | Rumcolinja | 53% | 87 |
| #4 | Goon Chee | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | INDZiiss | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | BigDaddy | 42% | 115 |
| #12 | ItsOKK | 40% | 118 |
| #13 | Bou | 39% | 41 |
| #14 | nikuc1s | 36% | 50 |
| #15 | Mr J | 34% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moody | 423 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | WEEDOO | 386 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Your WET Dream | 284 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Stewie Griffin | 254 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Rumcolinja | 187 | 0.10 | 4 min |





