








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 823 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 487 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5150 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6709 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5047 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4620 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,743,044 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Throw | 59% | 494 |
| #2 | torn | 54% | 84 |
| #3 | Strickened | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | ॐ | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Throw | 59% | 494 |
| #2 | torn | 54% | 84 |
| #3 | Strickened | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | ॐ | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Throw | 54 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | torn | 16 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Strickened | 8 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | ॐ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Throw | 1164 | 0.12 | 28 min |
| #2 | ॐ | 125 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Strickened | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | torn | 18 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 恒澤 | +3.67 | 93 | 53 |
| #2 | Throw | +2.01 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | ॐ | +1.91 | 93 | 53 |
| #4 | torn | -0.44 | 69 | 26 |
| #5 | Strickened | -3.04 | 63 | 40 |





