








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3746 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3819 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2374 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1470 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,670,467 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 857 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Death Monarch ☑ | 56% | 39 |
| #6 | Daddy | 54% | 28 |
| #7 | _G卄ㄖㄩㄥ_ | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | DemonPratap | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | ...SRT | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LawrenceBishnoi | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Death Monarch ☑ | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | DemonPratap | 5 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | ...SRT | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Daddy | 4 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ...SRT | 118 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Death Monarch ☑ | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | LawrenceBishnoi | 80 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Daddy | 73 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | _G卄ㄖㄩㄥ_ | 55 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy | +4.23 | 51 | 56 |
| #2 | DemonPratap | +2.13 | 58 | 40 |
| #3 | Death Monarch ☑ | +2.11 | 52 | 61 |
| #4 | _G卄ㄖㄩㄥ_ | +1.24 | 55 | 44 |
| #5 | Yogi baba メ | +0.99 | 48 | 51 |





