








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 471 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 142 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5329 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4733 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2705 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2987 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,378,439 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6993 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ColKrispyKreme | 57% | 79 |
| #2 | badass skeleton with g key | 52% | 345 |
| #3 | shin.iwnl | 48% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ColKrispyKreme | 57% | 79 |
| #2 | badass skeleton with g key | 52% | 345 |
| #3 | shin.iwnl | 48% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | badass skeleton with g key | 49 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | shin.iwnl | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | ColKrispyKreme | 6 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | badass skeleton with g key | 367 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | shin.iwnl | 235 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | ColKrispyKreme | 228 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ColKrispyKreme | +3.46 | 69 | 72 |
| #2 | badass skeleton with g key | +1.87 | 74 | 40 |
| #3 | 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 | +1.09 | 83 | 49 |
| #4 | shin.iwnl | +0.01 | 61 | 63 |





