








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1679 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2922 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1096 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2200 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,885,202 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ColKrispyKreme | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | shin.iwnl | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 | 52% | 345 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ColKrispyKreme | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | shin.iwnl | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 | 52% | 345 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 | 55 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | shin.iwnl | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | ColKrispyKreme | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 | 969 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | shin.iwnl | 191 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | ColKrispyKreme | 139 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ColKrispyKreme | +3.04 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | badass skeleton with g key | +1.67 | 74 | 40 |
| #3 | 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 | +0.98 | 83 | 48 |
| #4 | shin.iwnl | -0.19 | 59 | 64 |





