








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 939 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 875 matches | ||
| Wingman | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6267 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4318 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4986 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4008 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,593,681 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | DAN | 47% | 53 |
| #10 | JrX^^ | 46% | 71 |
| #11 | Nqrc_0 | 46% | 344 |
| #12 | Narkotek | 44% | 86 |
| #13 | Thunder0410 {BE} | 40% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tismé | 1124 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #2 | Nqrc_0 | 691 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | Thunder0410 {BE} | 317 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Zepe187 | 310 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | SwiiTeez | 284 | 0.14 | 6 min |





