










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 915 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 1,670 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2559 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1417 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2051 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1872 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,142 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sebz | 79% | 38 |
| #2 | Ouzo | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Danskjäveln | 63% | 65 |
| #4 | wwwaaa | 57% | 129 |
| #5 | M4ckan | 54% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sebz | 79% | 38 |
| #2 | Ouzo | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Danskjäveln | 63% | 65 |
| #4 | wwwaaa | 57% | 129 |
| #5 | M4ckan | 54% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wwwaaa | 32 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | M4ckan | 12 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Danskjäveln | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Ouzo | 6 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | Sebz | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wwwaaa | 310 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | M4ckan | 268 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | Danskjäveln | 260 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sebz | 96 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ouzo | 78 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ouzo | +6.49 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | Sebz | +3.63 | 56 | 68 |
| #3 | M4ckan | +2.47 | 58 | 62 |
| #4 | edström | +1.93 | 48 | 60 |
| #5 | Danskjäveln | +1.69 | 80 | 51 |





