








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2525 | 38% |
| Smokes | 373 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 2031 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1769 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $837,286 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 793 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SyndriN | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Emp4thy | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | ☢ S.T.A.L.K.E.R ☢ | 56% | 112 |
| #4 | danoob | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Solo | 47% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ☢ S.T.A.L.K.E.R ☢ | 56% | 112 |
| #4 | danoob | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Solo | 47% | 60 |
| #6 | Stew1e3k (스튜) | 44% | 27 |
| #7 | Poods | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stew1e3k (스튜) | 6 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | danoob | 6 | 0.0302 |
| #3 | Emp4thy | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | ☢ S.T.A.L.K.E.R ☢ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Poods | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢ S.T.A.L.K.E.R ☢ | 261 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Stew1e3k (스튜) | 206 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #3 | Poods | 206 | 0.38 | 4 min |
| #4 | Solo | 121 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Emp4thy | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poods | +2.49 | 46 | 66 |
| #2 | Inferno Jiggelo | +2.21 | 61 | 59 |
| #3 | Emp4thy | +2.12 | 79 | 47 |
| #4 | ☢ S.T.A.L.K.E.R ☢ | +1.07 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | SyndriN | -0.12 | 20 | 46 |





