








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




193 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 920 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1199 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2436 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3078 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,730 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1834 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | canadian alcoholic | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | Pizzaking_15 | 46% | 95 |
| #6 | danoob | 44% | 45 |
| #7 | mg2 but plays like silver | 38% | 29 |
| #8 | ChonkOfBorealValley | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ Shitzky | 51 | 0.0413 |
| #2 | canadian alcoholic | 50 | 0.0513 |
| #3 | mg2 but plays like silver | 24 | 0.0414 |
| #4 | danoob | 23 | 0.0268 |
| #5 | Pizzaking_15 | 22 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | canadian alcoholic | 224 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | DJ Shitzky | 146 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | mg2 but plays like silver | 137 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pizzaking_15 | 62 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | danoob | 62 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emp4thy | +2.82 | 75 | 36 |
| #2 | Inferno Jiggelo | +2.68 | 56 | 63 |
| #3 | canadian alcoholic | +2.33 | 58 | 46 |
| #4 | DJ Shitzky | +1.90 | 58 | 48 |
| #5 | mg2 but plays like silver | -0.21 | 46 | 51 |





