










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 215 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3040 | 48% |
| Smokes | 840 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1334 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1082 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,990,894 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Effsler | 45% | 33 |
| #2 | Papa Chicken Dick | 41% | 336 |
| #3 | Millerchamp | 32% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Effsler | 45% | 33 |
| #2 | Papa Chicken Dick | 41% | 336 |
| #3 | Millerchamp | 32% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papa Chicken Dick | 31 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Mr Effsler | 8 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Millerchamp | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papa Chicken Dick | 222 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #2 | Millerchamp | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mr Effsler | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Effsler | +7.21 | 72 | 40 |
| #2 | Millerchamp | +0.66 | 50 | 41 |
| #3 | Papa Chicken Dick | -0.72 | 6 | 32 |
| #4 | ColossalWang | -1.40 | 7 | 26 |





