










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 481 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1420 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3301 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1252 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2740 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,354,323 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Effsler | 43% | 58 |
| #2 | Millerchamp | 42% | 95 |
| #3 | ColossalWang | 41% | 336 |
| #4 | flux | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Effsler | 43% | 58 |
| #2 | Millerchamp | 42% | 95 |
| #3 | ColossalWang | 41% | 336 |
| #4 | flux | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ColossalWang | 33 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Mr Effsler | 11 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Millerchamp | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ColossalWang | 647 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Millerchamp | 71 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | flux | 57 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mr Effsler | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Effsler | +5.93 | 73 | 34 |
| #2 | flux | +5.24 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Millerchamp | +0.01 | 44 | 41 |
| #4 | Papa Chicken Dick | -1.08 | 7 | 32 |
| #5 | ColossalWang | -1.85 | 6 | 23 |





