








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6157 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9868 | 40% |
| Smokes | 6985 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5004 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2533 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,931 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer4shame | 47% | 59 |
| #2 | Noragami | 47% | 277 |
| #3 | nice cats | 46% | 390 |
| #4 | etnelav | 45% | 279 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer4shame | 47% | 59 |
| #2 | Noragami | 47% | 277 |
| #3 | nice cats | 46% | 390 |
| #4 | etnelav | 45% | 279 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nice cats | 37 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Noragami | 36 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | etnelav | 33 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Gamer4shame | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nice cats | 1963 | 0.24 | 45 min |
| #2 | Noragami | 1102 | 0.19 | 33 min |
| #3 | Gamer4shame | 218 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | etnelav | 186 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer4shame | +3.22 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | Noragami | +1.19 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | Mori | +0.89 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | nice cats | -0.44 | 57 | 73 |
| #5 | etnelav | -2.66 | 23 | 32 |





