








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 138 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 235 | 19% |
| Smokes | 398 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 510 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 88 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,198,988 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E. Jax | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | |SPY+ | 59% | 82 |
| #3 | __Calli2014__ | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | EzDav1d | 53% | 80 |
| #5 | Medusa | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | __Calli2014__ | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | |SPY+ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Medusa | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | von_hirntod | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | LONGS420NG | 2 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EzDav1d | 91 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | von_hirntod | 56 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | __Calli2014__ | 49 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | LONGS420NG | 47 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | |SPY+ | 32 | 0.02 | 1 min |





