








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 46 | 2% |
| Smokes | 530 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 639 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 722 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,043 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simon Kaggwa Njala | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Purkka Marko | 56% | 94 |
| #3 | Sante | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | AIE | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Gallus | 44% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AIE | 12 | 0.0305 |
| #2 | Purkka Marko | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Gallus | 6 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purkka Marko | 296 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Gallus | 211 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Simon Kaggwa Njala | 69 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | AIE | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | aimes | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |





