








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 286 | 25% |
| Smokes | 174 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 393 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 269 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $94,803 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oLdSkEwL <HeX> | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | saylef | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | howard | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | sicKsense_ #1donkglazer_int | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Shadowsnake | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Shadowsnake | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | racist | 0% | 3 |
| #7 | Vinny Fettuccine | 0% | 3 |
| #8 | WA GE | 0% | 4 |
| #9 | Light up Skechers | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howard | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | WA GE | 3 | 0.0309 |
| #3 | sicKsense_ #1donkglazer_int | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Light up Skechers | 1 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howard | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | sicKsense_ #1donkglazer_int | 54 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | saylef | 19 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Shadowsnake | 18 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | WA GE | 16 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saylef | +2.89 | 65 | 67 |
| #2 | Shadowsnake | +1.68 | 87 | 61 |
| #3 | Vinny Fettuccine | +1.41 | 23 | 4 |
| #4 | sicKsense_ #1donkglazer_int | +0.90 | 52 | 78 |
| #5 | howard | +0.80 | 78 | 50 |





