








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2227 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2744 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3252 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2271 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,139,847 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DarkSenpai | 52% | 306 |
| #3 | Behossaurus | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | bonnerkiller | 51% | 150 |
| #5 | NELO CHAPEIRO | 47% | 32 |
| #6 | M4XD0P3 | 45% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkSenpai | 36 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | bonnerkiller | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | M4XD0P3 | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Behossaurus | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | NELO CHAPEIRO | 1 | 0.0016 |





