








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4926 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4580 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3564 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3170 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $979,677 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vietename_FM | 52% | 306 |
| #2 | bonnerkiller | 50% | 244 |
| #3 | The Fake Behossaurus | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | Behossaurus | 49% | 80 |
| #5 | uyisdphf | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vietename_FM | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | M4XD0P3 | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | bonnerkiller | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | The Fake Behossaurus | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | uyisdphf | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vietename_FM | 410 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | M4XD0P3 | 250 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | bonnerkiller | 245 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | The Fake Behossaurus | 126 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | uyisdphf | 109 | 0.17 | 3 min |





