








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 956 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2422 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3055 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3835 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3734 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $867,178 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 602 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vit Makt | 58% | 99 |
| #2 | DaveK1ng | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | 123 | 48% | 115 |
| #4 | Ianツ | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | . | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DaveK1ng | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | 123 | 48% | 115 |
| #4 | Ianツ | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | . | 40% | 55 |
| #6 | affEz | 34% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123 | 14 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Vit Makt | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | . | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | affEz | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123 | 436 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | affEz | 198 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | . | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Vit Makt | 72 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | DaveK1ng | 65 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaveK1ng | +3.29 | 58 | 59 |
| #2 | 123 | +1.77 | 79 | 74 |
| #3 | affEz | +1.00 | 66 | 65 |
| #4 | <FIN_ADDEZ> | +0.77 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | . | -0.56 | 74 | 60 |





