








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 641 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




400 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2637 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2584 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3280 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1563 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,529,654 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bappo | 38% | 124 |
| #2 | make | 35% | 186 |
| #3 | ˗ˏˋ glorp🐾 𓍢ִˎˊ˗ | 30% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bappo | 38% | 124 |
| #2 | make | 35% | 186 |
| #3 | ˗ˏˋ glorp🐾 𓍢ִˎˊ˗ | 30% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | make | 80 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | Bappo | 65 | 0.0265 |
| #3 | ˗ˏˋ glorp🐾 𓍢ִˎˊ˗ | 19 | 0.0218 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | make | 112 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | Bappo | 51 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | ˗ˏˋ glorp🐾 𓍢ִˎˊ˗ | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bappo | +1.80 | 67 | 15 |
| #2 | make | +1.16 | 33 | 20 |
| #3 | cuh | -1.34 | 17 | 28 |
| #4 | ˗ˏˋ glorp🐾 𓍢ִˎˊ˗ | -2.27 | 7 | 31 |





