








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 431 | 27% |
| Smokes | 480 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 432 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 229 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,987 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zach | 47% | 47 |
| #2 | SirScuzzyLogik | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | BigHoss22 | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | Sir2uzzyLogik | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | 헤이즈 | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zach | 8 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | BigWillyKevdad | 4 | 0.0440 |
| #3 | BigHoss22 | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | 헤이즈 | 1 | 0.0043 |





