








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1782 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1775 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1145 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 569 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $751,499 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigWillyKevdad | 20 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | 헤이즈 | 16 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | GraceCharisOF | 8 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | BigHoss22 | 7 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | SirScuzzyLogik | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirScuzzyLogik | 399 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sir2uzzyLogik | 116 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | 헤이즈 | 92 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | GraceCharisOF | 80 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | BigHoss22 | 71 | 0.11 | 1 min |





