








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 949 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3710 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1704 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2617 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1429 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,257,779 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 835 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dizzle LFT | 64% | 91 |
| #2 | WFN | Fallenfps | 62% | 122 |
| #3 | Jxyy^ | 62% | 159 |
| #4 | MaryJane | 61% | 33 |
| #5 | Sneaky Elf | 55% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MaryJane | 61% | 33 |
| #5 | Sneaky Elf | 55% | 86 |
| #6 | Genkei :) | 53% | 177 |
| #7 | β½ ππΈππΌ βΌ | 52% | 46 |
| #8 | γShr00mZγβ’ | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jxyy^ | 34 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Genkei :) | 20 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Dizzle LFT | 14 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Sneaky Elf | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | MaryJane | 10 | 0.0203 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WFN | Fallenfps | 656 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | Jxyy^ | 423 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Dizzle LFT | 399 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sneaky Elf | 361 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | Genkei :) | 265 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jxyy^ | +3.97 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | MaryJane | +3.22 | 48 | 37 |
| #3 | Dizzle LFT | +2.79 | 84 | 49 |
| #4 | γShr00mZγβ’ | +1.05 | 60 | 55 |
| #5 | ihate Sin | +0.64 | 78 | 52 |





