








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 482 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9259 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6990 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6498 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4356 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,187,573 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3044 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ihate Sin | 62% | 122 |
| #2 | Jxyy^ | 59% | 137 |
| #3 | Sneaky Elf | 59% | 105 |
| #4 | Dizzle LFT | 56% | 70 |
| #5 | doom doom #road to MGE | 50% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sneaky Elf | 59% | 105 |
| #4 | Dizzle LFT | 56% | 70 |
| #5 | doom doom #road to MGE | 50% | 132 |
| #6 | GerardTheGREAT | 47% | 86 |
| #7 | SowetoSniper | 46% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jxyy^ | 33 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | ihate Sin | 29 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | Sneaky Elf | 13 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Dizzle LFT | 12 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | SowetoSniper | 11 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ihate Sin | 601 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | Sneaky Elf | 417 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jxyy^ | 378 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Dizzle LFT | 293 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | doom doom #road to MGE | 266 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jxyy^ | +3.44 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | doom doom #road to MGE | +3.39 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | Dizzle LFT | +2.76 | 84 | 51 |
| #4 | Sneaky Elf | +1.11 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | WFN | Fallenfps | +0.60 | 56 | 65 |





