








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,877 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 474 | 12% |
| Smokes | 844 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1424 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1135 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $883,742 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Anders | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Torben Trussetyv | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Persillesovs | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Minken | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | Luke Skywankerツ | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minken | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Anders | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Persillesovs | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Luke Skywankerツ | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Torben Trussetyv | 23 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR horsekåk himself | +5.47 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | Minken | -0.02 | 34 | 54 |
| #3 | Luke Skywankerツ | -0.25 | 28 | 69 |
| #4 | Nick3042 | -0.30 | 23 | 78 |
| #5 | Anders | -0.32 | 28 | 51 |





