










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 554 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1310 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1107 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1474 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,329,586 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1916 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d2 | 63% | 119 |
| #2 | Cheeki | 55% | 94 |
| #3 | ✪︎ScrubS✪ | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | snus enjoyer<3 | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Myklen | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cheeki | 55% | 94 |
| #3 | ✪︎ScrubS✪ | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | snus enjoyer<3 | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Myklen | 41% | 37 |
| #6 | akaSpeedyⱭ͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪︎ScrubS✪ | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | d2 | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | akaSpeedyⱭ͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 5 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Cheeki | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheeki | 348 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | d2 | 164 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | akaSpeedyⱭ͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 79 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | snus enjoyer<3 | 66 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Myklen | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheeki | +2.43 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | d2 | +2.41 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | ✪︎ScrubS✪ | +0.92 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | 𝕾𝖏𝖊𝖋𝖊𝖓 | +0.17 | 87 | 36 |
| #5 | Myklen | -0.78 | 85 | 41 |





