








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4339 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4447 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3919 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3046 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,341,845 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jasuon | 1041 | 0.21 | 24 min |
| #2 | Chow Mein Chen | 969 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #3 | lamar wackson | 485 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | owowowo | 208 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | a | 159 | 0.13 | 5 min |





