










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
80 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 119 | 27% |
| Smokes | 48 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 127 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 152 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $54,358 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cowboy | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Silent.Dvid | 35% | 17 |
| #3 | peepeepoopoo the II | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cowboy | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Silent.Dvid | 35% | 17 |
| #3 | peepeepoopoo the II | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cowboy | 7 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | Silent.Dvid | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | peepeepoopoo the II | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peepeepoopoo the II | 17 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #2 | Cowboy | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | Silent.Dvid | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cowboy | +6.97 | 56 | 34 |
| #2 | peepeepoopoo the II | +3.59 | 64 | 53 |
| #3 | Silent.Dvid | +2.19 | 57 | 46 |
| #4 | On Her Knees | -4.40 | 11 | 35 |





