










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 256 | 16% |
| Smokes | 412 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 488 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 490 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,091 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | On Her Knees | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | peepeepoopoo the II | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | Silent.Dvid | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | On Her Knees | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | peepeepoopoo the II | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | Silent.Dvid | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silent.Dvid | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | On Her Knees | 5 | 0.0164 |
| #3 | peepeepoopoo the II | 4 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silent.Dvid | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | peepeepoopoo the II | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | On Her Knees | 24 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cowboy | +3.21 | 48 | 37 |
| #2 | peepeepoopoo the II | +1.73 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | Silent.Dvid | +0.64 | 48 | 34 |
| #4 | On Her Knees | -5.17 | 12 | 35 |





