








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 476 matches | ||
| Faceit | 245 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5773 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5755 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7961 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6346 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5472 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,817,601 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teletabis | 54% | 246 |
| #2 | snazzy detective | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | sibe | 52% | 85 |
| #4 | sizeЯ | 51% | 74 |
| #5 | ⌐ — | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sizeЯ | 51% | 74 |
| #5 | ⌐ — | 50% | 60 |
| #6 | :D | 49% | 299 |
| #7 | Astra | 48% | 73 |
| #8 | nobody | 48% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teletabis | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | :D | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | sibe | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | ⌐ — | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | sizeЯ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D | 574 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #2 | Teletabis | 320 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | sibe | 254 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | ⌐ — | 171 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | sizeЯ | 170 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sibe | +5.26 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | :D | +2.70 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | sizeЯ | +0.61 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Teletabis | +0.31 | 74 | 50 |
| #5 | nobody | -0.15 | 55 | 62 |





