








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 270 matches | ||
| Wingman | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2779 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5948 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4878 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3624 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,068,079 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 517 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teletabis | 53% | 47 |
| #2 | :D | 51% | 429 |
| #3 | ⌐ — | 51% | 136 |
| #4 | axwe11 | 48% | 136 |
| #5 | snazzy detective | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teletabis | 53% | 47 |
| #2 | :D | 51% | 429 |
| #3 | ⌐ — | 51% | 136 |
| #4 | axwe11 | 48% | 136 |
| #5 | snazzy detective | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌐ — | 15 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | :D | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Teletabis | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D | 785 | 0.09 | 23 min |
| #2 | ⌐ — | 440 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | axwe11 | 200 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Teletabis | 65 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | snazzy detective | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D | +2.98 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Teletabis | +0.02 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | nobody | -1.00 | 56 | 60 |
| #4 | snazzy detective | -1.38 | 47 | 57 |
| #5 | ⌐ — | -1.68 | 38 | 59 |





