








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 738 | 22% |
| Smokes | 396 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 961 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1206 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,087 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BMW 535D | 48% | 105 |
| #2 | ☆DONTPEEK☆ ヤルピ | 44% | 99 |
| #3 | koirienkouluttaja (xantarespeek) | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | Johansson | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BMW 535D | 48% | 105 |
| #2 | ☆DONTPEEK☆ ヤルピ | 44% | 99 |
| #3 | koirienkouluttaja (xantarespeek) | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | Johansson | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆DONTPEEK☆ ヤルピ | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | koirienkouluttaja (xantarespeek) | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | BMW 535D | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Johansson | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BMW 535D | 207 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | ☆DONTPEEK☆ ヤルピ | 152 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | koirienkouluttaja (xantarespeek) | 57 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Johansson | 19 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ サイコマサ | +2.97 | 42 | 46 |
| #2 | ☆DONTPEEK☆ ヤルピ | -0.68 | 43 | 38 |
| #3 | koirienkouluttaja (xantarespeek) | -1.93 | 46 | 52 |
| #4 | BMW 535D | -2.24 | 49 | 48 |
| #5 | Johansson | -4.14 | 27 | 30 |





