








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 821 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1112 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 904 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 591 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,181 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miksu bro | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | OPTIMUS PRIME | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | juan. | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Vald | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | SUPER SAIYAN | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | juan. | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Vald | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | SUPER SAIYAN | 44% | 32 |
| #6 | sauli väinämö niinistö | 42% | 26 |
| #7 | Leveeks_Korelon | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leveeks_Korelon | 6 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Vald | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | sauli väinämö niinistö | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | OPTIMUS PRIME | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | miksu bro | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vald | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | SUPER SAIYAN | 69 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | juan. | 36 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Leveeks_Korelon | 33 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | miksu bro | 26 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUPER SAIYAN | +2.53 | 88 | 52 |
| #2 | Daniel | +2.13 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | Vald | +0.63 | 60 | 67 |
| #4 | juan. | +0.63 | 63 | 56 |
| #5 | miksu bro | -0.14 | 65 | 60 |





