








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2967 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3011 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1942 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2362 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $920,053 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Violet Evergarden | 51% | 197 |
| #4 | Chipsiano McDonaldo | 50% | 220 |
| #5 | Shino Kiryuu | 50% | 237 |
| #6 | stork god | 49% | 96 |
| #7 | m0NESIU | 43% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Violet Evergarden | 49 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | stork god | 20 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Shino Kiryuu | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Chipsiano McDonaldo | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | m0NESIU | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Violet Evergarden | 919 | 0.23 | 22 min |
| #2 | Shino Kiryuu | 802 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #3 | Chipsiano McDonaldo | 570 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | stork god | 207 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | m0NESIU | 116 | 0.07 | 3 min |





