








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 561 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2556 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3118 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1825 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2370 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $628,772 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chipsiano McDonaldo | 52% | 218 |
| #2 | Shino Kiryuu | 51% | 222 |
| #3 | Kakarot | 51% | 197 |
| #4 | stork god | 51% | 84 |
| #5 | m0NESIU | 42% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chipsiano McDonaldo | 52% | 218 |
| #2 | Shino Kiryuu | 51% | 222 |
| #3 | Kakarot | 51% | 197 |
| #4 | stork god | 51% | 84 |
| #5 | m0NESIU | 42% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kakarot | 33 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Shino Kiryuu | 18 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Chipsiano McDonaldo | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | stork god | 14 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | m0NESIU | 7 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shino Kiryuu | 791 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | Kakarot | 769 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #3 | Chipsiano McDonaldo | 584 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | stork god | 170 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | m0NESIU | 121 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shino Kiryuu | +2.26 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | Violet Evergarden | +1.35 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | Chipsiano McDonaldo | +0.38 | 65 | 57 |
| #4 | stork god | -1.27 | 82 | 41 |
| #5 | m0NESIU | -2.52 | 46 | 45 |





