








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 539 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5540 | 20% |
| Smokes | 10177 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 6648 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5428 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,535,958 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1878 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dagger Dįck | 60% | 109 |
| #2 | NFSU2 SOUNDTRACK | 51% | 90 |
| #3 | akvile pacosaitė | 50% | 317 |
| #4 | Alfa Romeo 166 ✤ | 46% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dagger Dįck | 60% | 109 |
| #2 | NFSU2 SOUNDTRACK | 51% | 90 |
| #3 | akvile pacosaitė | 50% | 317 |
| #4 | Alfa Romeo 166 ✤ | 46% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akvile pacosaitė | 26 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Dagger Dįck | 23 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | NFSU2 SOUNDTRACK | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Alfa Romeo 166 ✤ | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akvile pacosaitė | 1304 | 0.19 | 31 min |
| #2 | Dagger Dįck | 319 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Alfa Romeo 166 ✤ | 312 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | NFSU2 SOUNDTRACK | 96 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dagger Dįck | +2.60 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | akvile pacosaitė | +1.27 | 48 | 69 |
| #3 | arm in ass | -0.53 | 47 | 63 |
| #4 | NFSU2 SOUNDTRACK | -1.00 | 45 | 61 |
| #5 | Alfa Romeo 166 ✤ | -2.99 | 37 | 66 |





