








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3004 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2072 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2313 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1819 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,759 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dagger Dįck | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | RUNE SCIMITAR | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | rokelis | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | -`rainOFF| | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | NFSU2 SOUNDTRACK | 50% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dagger Dįck | 10 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | akvile pacosaitė | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | arm in ass | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | NFSU2 SOUNDTRACK | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | EVA | 3 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akvile pacosaitė | 409 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Dagger Dįck | 159 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | rokelis | 101 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | arm in ass | 99 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | NFSU2 SOUNDTRACK | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rokelis | +3.23 | 66 | 77 |
| #2 | Dagger Dįck | +2.79 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | -`rainOFF| | +2.21 | 59 | 59 |
| #4 | akvile pacosaitė | +2.00 | 53 | 70 |
| #5 | arm in ass | +0.02 | 50 | 60 |





