








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 780 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 353 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9499 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7671 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5703 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4355 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,183 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCUMFK | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | Spurgu_Poika | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | Mizka | 49% | 285 |
| #4 | Bob The Cat | 49% | 154 |
| #5 | LORD OF THE ONI0N RINGS | 43% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Spurgu_Poika | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | Mizka | 49% | 285 |
| #4 | Bob The Cat | 49% | 154 |
| #5 | LORD OF THE ONI0N RINGS | 43% | 169 |
| #6 | | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob The Cat | 17 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Mizka | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | | 11 | 0.0197 |
| #4 | LORD OF THE ONI0N RINGS | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | SCUMFK | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizka | 958 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | Bob The Cat | 567 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | LORD OF THE ONI0N RINGS | 371 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | | 197 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #5 | SCUMFK | 115 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizka | +0.82 | 56 | 65 |
| #2 | SCUMFK | +0.08 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | Spurgu_Poika | +0.01 | 20 | 64 |
| #4 | Bob The Cat | -0.05 | 54 | 59 |
| #5 | JerePRKL | -0.07 | 47 | 64 |





