








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3482 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3693 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2636 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2197 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,147,473 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JerePRKL | 49% | 285 |
| #2 | Bob The Cat | 48% | 100 |
| #3 | LORD OF THE ONI0N RINGS | 44% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JerePRKL | 49% | 285 |
| #2 | Bob The Cat | 48% | 100 |
| #3 | LORD OF THE ONI0N RINGS | 44% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JerePRKL | 22 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Bob The Cat | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | LORD OF THE ONI0N RINGS | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JerePRKL | 1898 | 0.31 | 33 min |
| #2 | LORD OF THE ONI0N RINGS | 409 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Bob The Cat | 389 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizka | +1.04 | 58 | 64 |
| #2 | JerePRKL | -0.08 | 50 | 64 |
| #3 | Bob The Cat | -0.42 | 52 | 60 |
| #4 | LORD OF THE ONI0N RINGS | -4.19 | 23 | 57 |





