










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 364 | 20% |
| Smokes | 567 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 761 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 158 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,157 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemon | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | sherman esquire III | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | dr0wninginmyl0ve | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | ftpaaron | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | 2inchweenie | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemon | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | sherman esquire III | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | dr0wninginmyl0ve | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | ftpaaron | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | 2inchweenie | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ftpaaron | 4 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | sherman esquire III | 1 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Lemon | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemon | 28 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #2 | ftpaaron | 26 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | 2inchweenie | 16 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | dr0wninginmyl0ve | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | sherman esquire III | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemon | +3.22 | 67 | 62 |
| #2 | 2inchweenie | +2.52 | 58 | 53 |
| #3 | ftpaaron | +1.17 | 57 | 51 |
| #4 | one pump chump | +0.47 | 54 | 46 |
| #5 | sherman esquire III | -0.01 | 42 | 44 |





