










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 249 | 25% |
| Smokes | 149 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 344 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 251 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,939 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Funnie Guppie Gaming | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | one pump chump | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Jeetermane | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Lemon | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | ftpaaron | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemon | 3 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Jeetermane | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | ftpaaron | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | 2inchweenie | 2 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | dr0wninginmyl0ve | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeetermane | 78 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Lemon | 62 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | ftpaaron | 27 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | 2inchweenie | 27 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | dr0wninginmyl0ve | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Funnie Guppie Gaming | +6.77 | 74 | 40 |
| #2 | ftpaaron | +3.27 | 43 | 59 |
| #3 | Papa Clat | +1.64 | 70 | 31 |
| #4 | one pump chump | +1.64 | 52 | 37 |
| #5 | 2inchweenie | +1.30 | 54 | 47 |





