








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 297 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3978 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3052 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2153 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2604 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,911 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 527 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1erog1 | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | Angelo S. | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | Cheese.com | 70% | 23 |
| #4 | Brian Thompson | 68% | 38 |
| #5 | artZera | 67% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | energy™ | 51% | 39 |
| #12 | JM | 48% | 100 |
| #13 | Pervy Sage | 48% | 63 |
| #14 | Coop | 41% | 63 |
| #15 | Searching... | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JM | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Lord Gufano | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Coop | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | artZera | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | dong | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Gufano | 462 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | JM | 347 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Brian Thompson | 157 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | p1erog1 | 132 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #5 | m0NESY on pcp | 121 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aang | +2.73 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | m0NESY on pcp | +2.62 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | JM | +2.11 | 70 | 60 |
| #4 | Brian Thompson | +1.08 | 76 | 50 |
| #5 | artZera | +0.50 | 70 | 43 |





