








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3344 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3530 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1250 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1964 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,597 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 589 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pervy Sage | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Aang | 54% | 114 |
| #3 | JM | 54% | 63 |
| #4 | こんにちwhat's up | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | energy™ | 49% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JM | 54% | 63 |
| #4 | こんにちwhat's up | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | energy™ | 49% | 73 |
| #6 | dong | 46% | 142 |
| #7 | Coop | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dong | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | energy™ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | JM | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Coop | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Aang | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aang | 331 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | JM | 227 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | dong | 140 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | energy™ | 88 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | こんにちwhat's up | 81 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aang | +3.80 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | JM | +2.03 | 67 | 61 |
| #3 | dong | +0.43 | 62 | 49 |
| #4 | こんにちwhat's up | -0.25 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | energy™ | -1.17 | 64 | 45 |





