








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3503 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2964 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3482 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2104 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,529 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xel | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Dboy87 | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | Scream | 54% | 96 |
| #4 | Arch (づ>ω<)づ | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | Shotgun Boris | 52% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ⓢค♫☾♄€☡ | 46% | 24 |
| #11 | ben | 46% | 129 |
| #12 | mal'akh | 44% | 32 |
| #13 | odd | 40% | 55 |
| #14 | Varg Vikernes | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mal'akh | +2.19 | 68 | 77 |
| #2 | Scream | +1.96 | 69 | 53 |
| #3 | ben | +1.31 | 58 | 65 |
| #4 | odd | +0.97 | 71 | 83 |
| #5 | Orm | +0.37 | 69 | 72 |





