








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 367 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1302 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3718 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2528 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2542 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,446,784 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffTheAce | 69% | 39 |
| #2 | Ron Man | 57% | 127 |
| #3 | Freeko | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Shotgun Boris | 56% | 108 |
| #5 | odd | 54% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Scream | 40% | 192 |
| #13 | OneHardMofo2Kill | 39% | 44 |
| #14 | ⓢค♫☾♄€☡ | 33% | 63 |
| #15 | Varg Vikernes | 33% | 61 |
| #16 | Morendasai | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scream | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | odd | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | ben | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Orm | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Varg Vikernes | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | 493 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | odd | 347 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | Shotgun Boris | 329 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | mal'akh | 316 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #5 | Orm | 296 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | odd | +2.99 | 75 | 81 |
| #2 | JeffTheAce | +2.92 | 86 | 48 |
| #3 | mal'akh | +2.40 | 67 | 73 |
| #4 | ben | +1.90 | 55 | 67 |
| #5 | Ron Man | +1.83 | 59 | 37 |





